Yes, You May Call Me a Pawn

I pretend that I’m visiting from out of town. I am on vacation for the summer, sitting upon the terra-cotta deck overlooking a large lake full of boats going wherever the wind takes them. Blue sky and linear clouds just beyond my reach, thoughtfully sorted apart and timely covering the sun each time I get…

Unstained by the World

“I wanna Seek you first I wanna Love you more” those song lyrics from United Pursuit – Hidden, I’ve listened to over and over this morning. How many times do we want to seek Him first? Every day do I want to run after Him more intently. “Tomorrow.” I tell myself. Tomorrow I will seek…

Back Into the Wild

Your whisper bends my ear, while my heart grips onto what is not mine. You ask me to let go, but instead I tighten evermore the keepsake in my palm. Again, You whisper. Ashamed of my disobedience, I bow my head, my selfishness aching. Wishing Your voice was just a sound I can ignore, but I…

When I Wanna Quit

Being on mission is the hardest calling I’ve ever lived through. At first, I was welcomed, and all the world seemed right, I even stopped arm wrestling with God about where He’s led me. Then, in an instant, everything changed. Now, five months later, everyday, I wanna quit. Plagued by fight or flight each morning,…

Calling Me Where I Am

God has been calling me where I am, but I haven’t been listening. As some of you know, from my previous posts, I have been arm wrestling with God about my purpose regarding why I am here, in this little town on the edge of the water that separates me from Canada. Why here? Why…

Beyond Myself and Into the World

I’m sitting in a local cafe facing the river and watching the world go by. A blur of red, grey, white pass in my peripheral between me and the river. I wonder where they are going, business, lunch, vacation? The music in my ear transports me back to Cali where my closest friends reside. I’m…

Lessons Learned from Walking the Dog

Head down, and nose to the ground, the dog is venturing places by smell. I can’t help but watch him venture to the high grass to defecate then off to wherever his nose leads him. Not once did he look around to see what was ahead of him. He missed chasing a fat squirrel, which…