Her People

I’m a foreigner, though, I call her grandma. I sit with her, feed her, hold her hand, calm her, take walks with her, and used to care for her. But, my face will never be familiar and though my presence may be enough, it will never fully be comforting. She wants you, her people. You,…

Half Awake

I lay here in my dark bedroom listening to the sound of water, when metal shower curtain hooks scrap across a metal shower bar pulling me straight out of my dream state. Immediately, all I could say out loud in a whiny voice was, “Nooohoho!” It’s 3am…dementia is awake. It has no concept of time,…

Becoming Someone Else: a fading memory

I wish sometimes I had a little camera on my glasses so I can visually show my parents the situation when I explain it to them later than 4:30am.  I faintly hear my voice in the dark surrounding my dream state. In a panic, I open my sleepy eyelids and wait for sound to break…

Where Does She Go?

I sit with my grandmother often, a ready hand when she’s in need. I am a safe place when she is lonely, a conversation techie when questions arise, a chef satisfying her taste buds, a hugger in confusion, and an encourager of her independence. At 99-years old, she’s lived longest in this home, raised a…

Numbered Days

Our days are numbered from the time we are conceived. At some point we all will be called to the feet of Jesus and judged by our works. We will be either placed in heaven or thrown in hell. I imagine you are still asking the same questions you peppered me with this morning. “Where…

Dementia’s Confusion

Dementia can be sad; I think most people see it that way. But, I choose to find it humorous, because who wants to be sad when you are spending time with someone losing their mind? So, even though most conversations sound like a broken record, it brings some good humor, not only to me, but…