Her People

I’m a foreigner, though, I call her grandma. I sit with her, feed her, hold her hand, calm her, take walks with her, and used to care for her. But, my face will never be familiar and though my presence may be enough, it will never fully be comforting. She wants you, her people. You,…

Selfish or Selfless: Caring for the Elderly

You know them and just maybe you think of them once in a while. They are alive, or one of them still is. They raised you until you were weaned, helped develop your character, encouraged, and supported you, until you left the house. Or just maybe they didn’t; they were heartless, life sucking, and you…

Letting November Go

It started by mourning the loss of my mother. Her death hit me so hard, that I am still in disbelief that it happened at all. I have a frozen image of her in my mind, living, breathing and I miss her like the dickens. November, all 30 days of it, I had forgotten who…

Losing You

Walking away is the best I can do as you cry yourself to sleep at 4:42pm. For all you know it’s morning, as you have the last few months at this time. You are confused, but you don’t know why, you are incorrigible, nothing will help the situation, thus is the reason I must step…

The Old Woman

She’s out there, in the valley of branches, her appearance battling sun and shadows, old body leaning headlong into the future, while pine shields her from strong winds and bitter cold, as winter finds its way into January.

Becoming Someone Else: a fading memory

I wish sometimes I had a little camera on my glasses so I can visually show my parents the situation when I explain it to them later than 4:30am.  I faintly hear my voice in the dark surrounding my dream state. In a panic, I open my sleepy eyelids and wait for sound to break…

Where Does She Go?

I sit with my grandmother often, a ready hand when she’s in need. I am a safe place when she is lonely, a conversation techie when questions arise, a chef satisfying her taste buds, a hugger in confusion, and an encourager of her independence. At 99-years old, she’s lived longest in this home, raised a…

Unstained by the World

“I wanna Seek you first I wanna Love you more” those song lyrics from United Pursuit – Hidden, I’ve listened to over and over this morning. How many times do we want to seek Him first? Every day do I want to run after Him more intently. “Tomorrow.” I tell myself. Tomorrow I will seek…

Emptying My Soul

As I sit here basking in the sunlight on my vacation, worship music filling my ears, the heat of light warming my face, burning off the coolness of morning, I imagine writing all that I’ve been arm wrestling with on stones and skipping them across the lake, that beckons me. One by one, each unique…

Not Even Myself

Ever gone on vacation and you didn’t know what to do first, so you did nothing at all. How much more did your body just need to rest rather than to do? I could easily fall asleep here, sitting in a comfy chair in the corner of the cottage while tree shadows danced in the…

A Deeper Kind of Relief

Your voice is faint, calling me from the bathroom. I can only imagine what you want or need from the privacy of the throne. I open the door and peek my head in to find you straining to push out a poop baby from your anus. My rescue brain goes quick into action bringing you…

Numbered Days

Our days are numbered from the time we are conceived. At some point we all will be called to the feet of Jesus and judged by our works. We will be either placed in heaven or thrown in hell. I imagine you are still asking the same questions you peppered me with this morning. “Where…