A Meeting

It was an invitation, beyond the hand and appearance of man, a meeting of the creative minds. As I sat listening to values, vision, and history, my body found comfort, in the words shared, so much so that the wood desk that buffered our conversation, didn’t exist. My right brain energized, ate up the new…

The Buddy

Always “the buddy,” never the girlfriend, how the heck will I ever be a wife? Will I ever be a wife? As my heart caves and tears form, I lose myself for a moment, caught between desire and emotions. I am horrible at reading between the lines, perceiving truths, and believing there is more where…

Veils

I lie awake with you on my mind. Once more your face comes and goes, but never gone, as I try to focus on something other than how much I like what I’ve gotten to know about you. The way you engage with me, the way we talk, the way you encourage, laugh, care. Your…

Seven Swans

I am drowned in thoughts scraping winter from the driveway, while tossing back and forth moody emotions; trying to find balance between my head and my heart. The rhythmic motion soothes me, I am less agitated by my doubts and fears. Yet, still drawn to the tug and pull, lost amongst pain and joy. My…

I’m Here for You

By the look on your face, you are surprised by my presence. “What are you doing here?” is all that could escape from your lips. I wrap my arms around you, my heart missing what we have. After a long hug and a few sobbing tears, you had me bustling around behind you wherever you…

Road Trip into Nothingness

Your voice lulls me into a picturesque movie scene, traveling the highway from this passenger seat, staring at blurred landscapes and distant mountains listening to the words escaping your lips as the guitar softly strums. I’m somewhere, lost amongst memories and nothingness. I want to feel, but as calluses suffocate my heart, I just become…

The Body is Present, but the Mind is Elswhere

As days passed after my grandfathers death, I sat each evening gazing at Boney Mountain pondering and whispering to God; my head cluttered by life. Sleep beckoned me, but I was too taken by the mountains beauty against the blue sky. I searched each crevasse looking for nothing. Toggling between thoughts of my grandfather and…

Letting go from 3,000 miles

Visiting you I see how the dementia feeds off of your brain daily, as though you are its meal. When you come back to me in unannounced moments, your eyes clear themselves from the muck and the most beautiful light blue pierces me. Your body has withered and its function is slowing, too fast for…

Offensive Driving or a Simple Little Toot?

This afternoon I panstakingly backed out of a parking spot, due to a large pickup truck blocking my view. As I drifted in reverse a car laid on its horn. I immediately hit my brakes, my heartbeat quickened. My first reaction was “ooh,” my second reaction rose out of my emotions as sarcasm flooded my thoughts,…

Airplane Thoughts

Gazing through a frosted window, I see strange lights in the distance, another unknown town passes by as I wrestle miles above the earth, gawking into the dark sky. My music changes tenderness to hardness. My heart and head are having an argument, and this temple can’t mediate as it should. It’s right there, right…

Searching for Contentment – Part 1

I’m sitting on a plane bound for Chicago and find myself chewing on the first chapter of Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow, recommended by my roommate as a suggestion to handling my recent lay off and search for new employment. When I first pulled the cover back, I wasn’t expecting anything but a…